Loner but never lonely

I am loner but not lonely. Even though I enjoy the company of others, I see to it I have time for myself time and again. Who would not enjoy the company of others, especially those others who are sincere and faithful to you? You seek out for these people in your life. What about those people who are insincere and unfaithful to you? Since I am happy being alone, what is the use of being around with insincere and unfaithful people? So don't mess up with a loner. For he can stand by himself -- alone -- and he is happy about it. I can be in my own company and I can be in the company of others who are genuine. Nevertheless, in the midst of good people, I still seek out time for myself. How much more when I am surrounded with infidelities and falsities. This calls for an alone time. To satisfy the loner me. For that is the only time I can be alone with God. In those times of my aloneness, I am in the company of God Who is Ever Faithful and True. Who can turn streams and the wind, trees and mountains, feline and canine, birds and persons into real friendships. I am a loner but never, ever lonely.

The 'communion of saints' in my own understanding

The Catholic doctrine of the "communion of saints" stresses the importance of fellowships among God's people, His Church which comprises of the Church Militant, the Church Penitent and the Church Triumphant.

The church militant are God's people still living and fighting or struggling on Earth; the church penitent are those who died having asked for forgiveness but whose souls are yet to undergo Purgatory to expiate the sins committed while on Earth; and the church triumphant are those who lived heroic, saintly lives and died in the grace of God and whose souls have entered Heaven -- the saints.

These three church states are in fellowship with one another through PRAYERS: the militant asking for the intercession of the triumphant; the penitent asking for the prayers of the militant for them to finally enter Heaven; and the penitent praying for the militant that help pray for them.

Once the penitent church are released from Purgatory by the intercession of the militant church and enter Heaven, they become part of the triumphant church that will, in return, intercede all the more for the militant church.

The "communion of saints" simply means God's people fellowshipping with one another: the saints, the living and those souls still being purged.

The history of the missionary crucifix

I had been longing for a crucifix. I had wanted it within my reach in times of trials, adversities, persecutions or pain that God will allow to send me so that I have something to hold onto to give me strength. I had wanted to have it as a gift from any religious person -- a priest, a nun or a religious brother. One that is already used and antiquated. Never in my wildest thinking that God would send me in my life a friend, a religious brother, who would give me his precious possession saturated with history, a gift to him by the Congregation he belongs to during his first profession as a religious brother: the missionary crucifix.

In his own words, Brother Dominique, OBSJC shares the history of the missionary crucifix as told to him by the superior of the Congregation:

"On August 20, 1920, the Franciscan missionary Capuchins of Bethlehem, started their "business" of making crucifixes made out of olive wood and many other religious items.

One of the Capuchin missionaries, Fr. Sebastian, OFM Cap. brought one crucifix from their factory to the Vatican City (St. Peter's Basilica) to be blessed by Fr. Gabriele Amorth (later to be the head exorcist of the Vatican in 1970); but there was an emergency meeting at the Vatican that Fr. Sebastian, OFM Cap. needed to attend since he was one of the appointed Franciscans of their congregation, so he left the crucifix to the care of Fr. Gabriele Amorth. 

The missionary crucifix was blessed and used by Fr. Gabriele Amorth in his ministry 

Fr. Gabriele Amorth used the crucifix to his ministry. Three days later, Fr. Sebastian returned to the office of Fr. Gabriele Amorth to get the crucifix. In 1952, Fr. Sebastian was sent by his superior to the Philippines as a Missionary. He became the superior of the newly constructed convent at Santa Barbara, Pangasinan where he met the Pauline Fathers. One of the Pauline Fathers became his friend, Father John of the Sacred Heart, FSP. In 1956, Fr. Sebastian became very ill that he could no longer walk so as he trusted Fr. John, FSP, he gave his missionary crucifix to his trusted friend. Weeks later, Fr. Sebastian passed away. In 1960, Fr. John arrived in the island of Mindanao. He became the missionary to the Muslims carrying the crucifix along with him. There he met the Passionist Fathers. In 1963, he died from a certain illness and before he passed away, he handed over the missionary crucifix to the Passionist Fathers. In 1999, the crucifix was handed down to the Superior of the Congregation of the Missionaries of St. John Cantius where I belong. In 2020, I took my first profession as a religious brother. As it has already been the tradition in my congregation, the superior gifted me with the sentimental missionary crucifix on that special day of my religious vocation.

Thus, as I have decided, I have given the missionary crucifix entrusted to me by my Congregation to my lay friend, Mr. Ferdinand Jacinto." 

Fr. Sebastian, OFM Cap. (left), Fr. Dominic, OFM Cap. (center) and Fr. Martinez De Gonzaléz, OFM Cap. (right)

Is Purgatory for real?

A screenshot from the photo at guardianangel.in

Is Purgatory real?

The demise of my mother in 2003 has taught me the truth about Purgatory first-hand.

Purgatory is a temporary sojourn for souls of the dead undergoing purgation, as the name implies, before being welcomed into a pure, unadulterated place that is Heaven.

The Roman Catholic Church holds and maintains the doctrine of Purgatory to be true, worthy of belief and inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Time and again, in the history of the Church, private revelations about the reality of purgatorial existence have continued to grace the pages of its archives.

My own story began in a particular wake wherein a "mananabtan" (an old lady hired to lead prayers for the soul of the dead) prompted to launch the novena prayers before the coffin of mother's remains.

Luz, a family friend, a Catholic-turned "born-again" Christian, commented: "Dili na hinoon na sya maluwas!" (Praying for the soul might instead render her soul damned!)

Once the remains was buried, I had this experience one night when I was watching TV on the presidential candidacy of Philippine film action star Fernando Poe, Jr. (FPJ).

I fell asleep from watching before the TV set as I sat on the chair -- and I started to have a dream.

A seamless transition from the TV show I'd been watching, the dream was set in the night and I saw a gathering of almost shadowy people supportive of FPJ's candidacy and the presence of my mother emerging from the crowd.

(The "shadowy crowd," I understand, is representative of the souls in Purgatory.)

Mother's face was downcast and in pale gray, looking at me; and she was not speaking yet had an urgent, pressing message to deliver.

She was then looking on a particular side of the scene as if to guide me into the place she was showing me and it seemed a familiar place where I had gone to before.

It was the pathway leading to the workers headquarters of Luz's affiliated "born-again" church.

Her facial expression was like she never wanted me to go there anymore or she would be jealous or sad if I go there again.

My spirit understood it as my mother telling me to ignore what Luz said in the wake.

The pressing, urgent message was FOR ME TO PRAY FOR HER SOUL and never listen to Luz whose belief was against praying for the souls of the dead.

And I woke up yet in front of a TV set still on.

So I kicked off praying the complete three mysteries of the Rosary for her soul everyday in front of a lit candle -- and kneeling.

Days after, the soul of my mother showed herself to me again.

One night when I had the hard time falling asleep alone in the house and when I did gradually pass out to sleep, suddenly her face flashed before my eyes so that I sprang up to my waking state.

Her face already exuded a pinkish white complexion and smiling -- but the face still had a skin disease beside her nose.

Inspired with the improvement as seen in the vision, I went on saying the rosary three mysteries a day.

Weeks after, my father called me up from overseas to tell me he had a dream of mother.

I asked father right away about her complexion in his dream: Does she have a pinkish white complexion?

"How do you know?!" my father was shocked.

I told him, mother already appeared to me.

I asked Pa if Ma still had sores on her face in his dream and his reply was "None!"

Months of saying the beads went past and a family friend told me she dreamed of my mother, "She was flying into a place full of flowers!"

Finally, my sister reported a dream of February 14, 2004 (five months on the dot since Ma's passing): mother who was now youthful, pinkish-white complexioned and black-haired was already inside a cathedral of holiness, accompanied by souls so recollected, absorbed, attuned and all-contemplating the Eternal One.

Let me finish this story by resuming the dream I had of mother in the beginning:

When she finished communicating her non-verbal message, I started sobbing and told her I had been crying all along. She ignored my tears and walked away while I was following her in tears. The message impressed upon my soul at Ma's gesture was: "Your tears cannot help me on my journey. I need your prayers!"

So then the rest is history.

Need I say more Purgatory is real?

The 'exponential blessings' prophecy for the Philippines under BBM presidency

The rainbow in-between President-elect BBM and Vice President-elect Inday Sara in one of their campaign sorties.

The "exponential blessings" prophesied by Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj, other servants of God and Nostradamus for the Philippines will take place under the terms of presumptive President BBM and presumptive Vice President Inday Sara. Why during their terms? Simply because the Marcoses hold the key for these blessings. Just let these elected leaders perform their duties to unlock these blessings. PERFORMANCE is the way in which the Marcoses will clear their name because no amount of explanation to their side of story can convince the opposition. The opposition are already programmed to hate the Marcoses as the opposition have already set parameters that in order for them to clear their name, the Marcoses must return "funds amassed from public treasuries" and say sorry for "atrocities and human rights violations" committed during Martial Law (which is a fact) under the direct command of then President Ferdinand Marcos (which is a lie). The Marcoses have suffered so much after EDSA because of these lies the opposition and liberal MSM both local and international have attached to the name "Marcos;" and God had allowed the Marcoses to suffer as preparation for this great event of EXPONENTIAL BLESSINGS that will be birthed into our country and spread the world over to happen at this time. And when that happens, that will go beyond "truth and historical facts" to convince all that the Marcoses have been guiltless all along of all sins thrown at them. Allow them to PERFORM, IMPLEMENT and GOVERN. Opposing them to perform their official duties is tantamount to mean one thing: The Marcoses after all are not the actual enemy but those who have prevented the truth from exposing itself. Is it TRUTH we are after or protection for and advancement of our cause that is antagonistic to democracy?

I have voted a Duterte for the first time

Vice President-elect Inday Sara Duterte-Carpio

For the first time in my life, I have voted a Duterte. I've come to realize Inday Sara has her own mind and conviction so that even her own father President Duterte cannot dictate on her to run as president. Her mind and heart has been set for the vice presidency even though she was a frontrunner among presidentiable. That earned her my respect and vote in this electoral exercise. I had been an anti-Duterte but when I started to pray for the President everyday, bit by bit I've come to develop affection for this man as far as his soul is concerned even in the midst of his policy that I deeply abhorred. I have become a pro-Duterte -- a pro-Duterte's soul, to be exact; and on certain policies. Although he has this side of having an iron hand when it comes to implementation of his war on drugs, his heart is soft towards his peer government appointees allegedly involved in anomalous transactions. I will let history judge him on that aspect. The creation of Davao Death Squad, a vigilante group, is one thing I have detested even today but suffice it to know he was humble and bold enough to admit he was behind such a group. In 1986, I voted for the matriarch Aquino and rejoiced when the late Ferdinand E. Marcos was taken out of Malacañang by way of so-called "people power" which I had immortalized in my written works. (However, "people power" has since been addictedly and wrongfully used under the pretense of exercising democracy to depose every president who won in the elections not their choice as in the case of former President Joseph Estrada and nearly President Rodrigo Duterte.) Yet , it was not this force that deposed Marcos but the deep state of a nation under the status of a superpower. Thirty-four years (somebody fact-checked this as 12 years of being under the liberal party: six years of the late President Corazon Aquino and six years of the late Benigno Aquino III) has passed and yet nothing has happened to the country that we can consider the Aquinos or the Liberals were better than Marcos. It's time to give the Marcoses under Bongbong Marcos a chance to redeem themselves and the Marcoses must prove their critics wrong in this six-year leadership and onwards. So we will know the truth of the matter: Is it historical revisionism that we are doing or resumption, implementation or realization of history that had been blocked from taking place?

The island city

I found myself on the edge of a big city, sitting where the waves and the sands met. 

Beyond the great waters of blue was an island of green. My eyes were fixed on the island, but it seemed I was not looking at the island. Around me were eyes of other races fixed on me, but it seemed they were not looking at me. 

Then, behind me, a block of white texts came scrolling up from below. 

I read as it went up. 

I panted and I sighed as I grasped the essence of every line of the piece that I read. It felt like the warmth of the Hand of Love, holding the very core of my being. 

And, all of a sudden, I was caught up in the high heavens. 

As the wind carried me to the heights, I saw the island below and an isle beside it becoming stones midst of sea. 

Then, as if stones thrown into the sea, the islands submerged -- the bigger island first, followed by the isle beside it. 

And the sea rippled mightily towards the big city and other areas surrounding the two islands that were lost. 

A word and another flashed on the scene one after the other. "Island," it read -- and then, "city."

The 'spirit of Bibiana' flees sis' house because of prayer and fasting

"The spirit of Bibiana!"

The phrase popped up in my head in the dream.

I found myself, in this dream, in a certain house that, I discerned, was haunted by a spirit.

Observing and deciphering the kind of spirit it was, I heard the phrase popping up in my mind.

When I uttered the phrase with my mouth, something moved on its own and I realized the name of the spirit was already determined.

The next scene I saw was the steel bed that was inside the house bended by itself. 

End of dream.

The dream took place on June 17, 2020 and in my nephew's house where the inhuman entity I call "bonsai kapre" was freed of.

It so happened that my Manila-based sister came home and the only house she could stay was the house owned by my other sister based abroad -- and it was unmanned.

She was alone in the house and I decided to accompany her and little did I suspect that that house was the house shown in the dream.

July 21: About a month since the dream, it was my first night in the house.

A bungalow-type, the house was large enough.

I had the sofa in the living room for my bed while sister slept in the room.

As soon as I fell into sleep, I heard a distinct, isolated "sssssst!" (whistling sound) but I heard it being whispered into my mind and not through my ears.

Twice I heard the catcall and twice I awoke.

July 22: "Someone" or "something" touched my nape and I was awakened.

July 23: The long version of St. Michael Prayer started to be recited and cast out the spirit.

July 24: At the start of the day, I began the prayer and fasting exercises to ward off the spirit's attachment to the house.

During the night, I was roused because "something" touched my foot.

July 25: There was a thick concentration of goosebumps tingling in both of my feet while asleep. I still felt it when I was awakened because of what seemed to be a numb feeling.

July 26: I happened to open my eyes at dawn and checked the surroundings while still laid on the couch. It was a normal awakening -- no supernatural intervention.

July 27: No one or nothing bothered my sleep anymore. I had a sleep of peace. I left the house the next day and my sister has returned to Manila days after.

Several persons who happened to take shelter in or visited the house witnessed a female figure passing by outside the kitchen door and when they took a second look, nobody was there.

The whole experience in house deliverance demonstrates the factuality of the Biblical Truth that only by prayer and fasting can we drive out stubborn and tenacious spirits.

Such as the "spirit of Bibiana."

(Postscript: The house and lot was sold to my sister by its former owners, a couple. The couple decided to sell the property so they would divide the proceeds and part ways. By a twist of fate, the couple reconciled after the property was sold. Another incident happened, my mother died in that house; and the figure of a woman, according to descriptions of witnesses to a woman figure passing across the kitchen door, was that of my mother! That was not the soul of my mother because, by a dream, it was revealed to me it was the "spirit of Bibiana." One of those who live there had a testimony to tell. Out of nowhere, her hand was spanked by an unseen hand! One time, my nephew was asked to man the house. Out of fear, he asked his buddies to accompany him. He didn't tell them the scary tales about the house. One of the friends thought my nephew was not alone as he saw the feminine figure passing by the door. When my nephew told them he was alone in that house, the guy asked in astonishment, "Who then was the woman just passing by the door?" Just then, they scrambled getting out of the door and left the house! After the house deliverance, my sis' family is now at peace.)

Testimony: 3 o'clock prayer normalizes nephew's urination

May I share a testimony? The spinal injury my nephew incurred from car accident made half of his body immobile and unable to urinate normally so that straight catheter had to be performed on him every time urine is to be drained out from his bladder. I was trained and had to do it on him out of necessity since he was discharged from hospital.

Every three in the afternoon, it is already a habit to say the three o'clock prayer and afterwards asking for provision of a specific, immediate need -- this time, the normalization of his urination.

This afternoon, after the 3 o'clock prayer and the lifting up of the said intention, I felt the need to follow it up with the "hand-it-over-to-Jesus" prayer and the chaplet of the Divine Mercy.

Minutes after, nephew was able to pee normally in which other cases took months and longer. It is now 24 days since he was discharged and 38 days since the accident!

Regarding his mobility, he can now sit up on his own by the help of physiotherapy. The operation wound is already healed. Neck brace is no longer used as ordered by the surgeon. Out of his own realization, he is already wondering on God's plan for his life.

Note: This testimony was written in 2016. Six years has passed and my nephew can now walk on his own, has a family of his own and a business of his own that he has managed. To the glory of God. Amen. -Author 

The house haunted by an elemental -- duwende or bonsai kapre?

Artwork courtesy of mythus.fandom.com

The gaze penetrated my core while asleep mid of the night.

I sprang up from the folding bed looking where the sharp, piercing look came from -- the kitchen door: open yet the screen door was locked.

The coldness was biting, embracing and suffocating.

That was my first of all paranormal encounters inside the house of my nephew whose mother asked me to man the house as the whole family would be going to the capital Manila.

Another incident happened in the same house where my sister left her daughter, my baby niece, in my care one night.

I laid the baby on the sofa located in the sala and patted her to sleep -- and she dozed soundly.

While waiting for my sister to arrive, I straightened up my back on the couch in the room leaving the baby in the sala -- but I passed out to sleep.

I woke up suddenly as I remembered the baby.

I was stunned seeing the baby soundly asleep not on the sofa but already on the kitchen floor!

Who -- or which -- brought the baby there?

I remember another incident when I was munching crackers one night and power outage broke out.

I heard a crackling, felt something moved the cracker I was holding and when lighted with my cellphone flashlight, the cracker was already half bitten!

This time when I was asked to man the house again, I saw "something" that I was not supposed to see.

Though, I was expecting to see it because I know I have this "gift" -- if it is a gift -- that I can see the spiritual realm happening in my physical surroundings while asleep.

One night, I was sleeping on another sofa and on the edge of it, I "saw" this entity sitting and fondly looking straight into my "eyes."

Just a little taller than a bottle of one liter, the entity was dark red skinned, a bit plump, of round eyes, of feet without toes and body thinly covered with long hairs!

The night after, I slept on the floor beside the sofa where I saw the entity.

In my dormant state, I did not "see" the entity because I was facing opposite the sofa but perceived the presence behind me, seated on the same spot of the foam-soft bench.

I was observing the "being" and when I discerned it was already about to enter into me to "possess" me, I struggled to wake up and I woke up. It was not able to enter into me.

In separate incidents, while conscious of its presence, I was touched in my inner thigh and my crotch as I laid on the back-to-back sofa opposite to where the "bonsai entity" was seated on its fave spot.

Three of us in the family could sense its presence and the neighborhood had tales of seeing an entity smoking in the old lot before the house was constructed. In Philippine folklore, we call it "kapre," a tree giant that has the penchant to smoke.

Rebuking "in the name of Jesus" would send it away outside the house immediately -- but would be back when the rebuker was already silent or asleep.

Only by prayer and fasting can we cast out a clingy, tenacious spirit, I remembered the Bible saying.

While still manning the house, I started prayer and fasting and in my conscious state during the day I could see in my mind's eye the entity in the form of a black shadow attacking me -- but it could not touch me.

When my nephew and family arrived home, I continued prayer and fasting in the house where I live; and I had no way of knowing if the inhuman entity had already fled.

The pandemic the other year left my nephew and family stuck in his father's (my brother's) house because of mandatory lockdown and I was called in to man the house again and I nodded so I would know if the jinn had already left for good.

In the midst of sleeping that night, I woke up from laughing because of the hilarious dream that I had -- the dream that I could not remember any scene at all.

No more hair-raising energies and auras and gazes too in the wee hours of midnight. It has already left -- thanks to prayer and fasting.

Note: Please I need financial support for my blog, dear friends. I am fresh from homelessness since 2013, off and on; and taking shelter right now with my sibling's family. Whatever amount you can extend is deeply appreciated. You can channel your financial help via GCash 09810692733. Thank you. God will reward you for your help. I will include you also in all my daily prayers. -Author

Three experiences: Lucid dreaming or seeing through spiritual eyes during sleep?

Dream, according to Merriam-Webster, is a series of thoughts, visions, or feelings that happen during sleep. Lucid dreaming, on the other hand, is dreaming in such a way that "the dreamers are aware that they are dreaming." In my case, I have this sort of a situation where I "see" in my sleeping state my actual physical surroundings in conjunction with the reality happening in the spiritual plane. Those situations cannot be called dreams per se or, although I was aware of the whole proceedings going on, lucid dreaming. Those are "seeing" not with the physical but spiritual eyes in my dormant state. To illustrate, I have three situations of this experience.

In 2014 when I happened to sleep the night out at the park of then-Davao Medical Center, I "saw" myself on the ground sleeping with my left knee raised and my right leg in flat position. A white appearance of someone I know came to approach me and bent down to touch my raised left knee. As soon as he touched my knee, coldness spread throughout my whole body so that I woke up; and I woke up according to the situation I saw myself in my sleep -- with my left knee still up and feeling the coldness I felt in my dormant state. I no longer saw the apparition in my waking state. This "someone I know" was my companion in my work with the NGO back in 1992. Because the presence was white and hazy, I had a feeling it was his soul. He might be already dead! Days after, I went to their house and asked his brother for the whereabouts of "Favio." To my amazement, his reply was: "Gikan mi sa paglubong niya!" (We just came from burying his remains!)

Secondly, I found myself in this situation where I "saw" myself in my sleeping position lying on the lower deck in the pad of a two-story house. It was night and dark -- but I could "see" my hankies dangling from the clothespins and being blown by the wind coming from my electric fan. I was "looking" in that direction when suddenly a white, smoky appearance of a giggling woman came flying into my room through the wall in my right and I followed it with my "eyes" as it went out through the door (still closed) in my left. I woke up with the same situation I "saw" in my sleep -- with my hankies still being blown by the fan. In the morning, I came to hear the news that my neighbor, an old woman, whose residence was situated next to the pad I rented, died in her sleep. Her house was located lower than my room and situated according to the setting I "saw" in my sleep. Could the apparition be her soul as it separated itself from her mortal body at the time of death?

Lastly, this situation happened in my brother's house. I spent the night sleeping in the sofa and my head was so situated that I could see door of the kitchen a bit farther away from me. In that situation, I "saw" a lady in white looking by the window; but, in actuality, there was no window in that location but an enclosure for roosters. It was long before I told my brother about my supernatural experience involving his house. When I came to tell him so, he confessed that the wood used to build the cage for roosters located a bit farther away from where I was sleeping was part and parcel of the window pane of the house that was demolished. The woman, a homebody, who frequented looking from that window, committed suicide! Spiritual eyes are the capacity in us that allows us to perceive (or see) spiritual realities that, in my case, are disguised as and appear to be dreams.

Know thyself: The starting point towards a better self

"Know thyself." -Socrates

If there's a need for us to change, this change we are aspiring for is change to better ourselves -- from worse to bad, from bad to good, from good to better, from better to best -- gradually. The way is self-knowledge, self-awareness -- or to "know thyself." We cannot accept something that is, to our conscious mind, non-existent yet subconsciously existent within us. Try to see if you have worse habits common within your bloodline: your immediate family and relatives. If this is so, your bloodline is suffering from an affliction brought about by the sins of your ancestors. You are carrying a certain curse passed on down from generation to generation to your own generation and on to generations following you if not broken. After self-knowledge is self-acceptance and the realization of the necessity to control our bad habits -- thus, self-control, one of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit. When we do others good despite the ill treatment we receive from them, we are controlling the curses we have had inside of us, thus we are executing self-control. Doing good despite the ill treatment, however, is not allowing ourselves to be just "doormats" but we can be doing good like praying for them -- at a distance. Walking away is self-care on our side and lessons learned on the side of the other so they may also be taught self-control. When the other side has learned the lesson, both sides then have practiced self-control and we can be one in the same place once again. If the other person is a family or a member of a community and there's no way we can walk away, self-control is put to real test and this process spells pain which can be bearable when offered for our continued conversion and the conversions of those who ill-treated us, the lukewarm and the unconverted. Pain endured, however, will bring to fruition other spiritual gifts aside from the fruit of the Holy Spirit that we already have which is self-control. And one of the spiritual gifts that will be born within us is the breaking off of the curses passed on down to us by our ancestors. In the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." Let me reword "karma" in this quote with "curse and blessing." When people ill-treated us, that is their curse; when we reacted violently, that is our own curse. When people do us good, those are their blessings; when we are the recipients of their blessings, naturally goodness begets goodness. However, I repeat, when we do others good despite the ill treatment we receive from them, we are controlling the curses we have had inside of us, thus we are executing self-control. "EVERYTHING is possible with God." It is a gradual process of trial and error. We can do it with the help of God via His Words and the Sacraments.

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." -Dr. Wayne Dyer

Stubborn oysters

Why do you cling to a concrete seawall like you have found your place forever?

Why can't you be wandering or be one with sea instead?

The sun is yet beginning to grow; and small splashes of low tides intermittently kiss you on a lower dyke.

I can see you in your shell squirting water after every splash of sea waves you are stroked with. You are truly alive.

What if the sea is even nowhere in sight? Can you survive the scorching heat of the sun?

You seem to be dead when dry and resurrected when hit by the waves.

Are you there forever, oysters? You're not, you little stubborn creatures!

Your flesh will soon be rooted up and eaten. Is that what you are called for?

Oysters cannot hear me, for the great waters have come.

Oyster on rock. Photo by fjacinto

Talisay: The hauntings of a demon and enchanted spirits

Photo taken 4/7/2021 by FJ

The huge Talisay tree grounded in the place where I had spent the nights sleeping last year as a homeless person was haunted by a demon and enchanted spirits.

I was still new to the place when a street dog barked and howled in my direction. My thinking was: "Does the dog see a ghost or elementals that I did not see?" My impression on the matter was proven true because of the paranormal activities I would have to experience while sleeping in the area.

I have had this spiritual gift where I can "see" the spiritual world at play in the physical settings where I happen to be. When the area I happen to be has spiritual or paranormal activities taking place, I will see the actual happening in my sleep. Sometimes, I'll see the activities with my physical eyes slightly open in my dormant state; other times, my physical eyes are closed and my spiritual eyes are at work to "see" the spirits at play in my surroundings while sleeping. This gift is activated during nighttime.

The tree was haunted by a demon. I saw the shadowy apparition of a demon or higher than a demon (I won't mention the term here.) in my sleep. I didn't like the feeling it provided my whole being. Having sensed the strange, hair-raising effect down my spine, I was transitioned to full wakefulness. The figure was still there and it was the shadow of leaves forming such figure. Appearing probably for four nights, the shadow figure was cast on the roof of a certain building beside the establishment where I slept the night.

Another incident, I was awakened by a thick, sudden gust of wind that fell and crashed itself on the floor as I was sleeping on a hammock.

In my sleep, I was "seeing" a dark male figure that was about to jump and intentionally to fall on the floor before me. When the figure jumped and fell, I sprang up from sleep because of the impact of the fall; but nobody was there -- just the thick, sudden gust of wind blowing on me. The dark spirit was like playing a game on me to awaken and frighten me. I was stunned but I tried to control my fright because the more they see you frightened, the more they would do you other similar acts to frighten you again.

Enchanted spirits, locally termed as "engkanto," had also been taking shelter in the Talisay tree. One night, I was witnessing right before my eyes a carnival ride attached to the tree branch, emanating from the ride various vivid pastel lightings. Bewildered by the display of colors of lights and the whole magical image, I was brought to a full awakening. It was large leaves that caught the lights coming from the adjacent street post.

And, finally, one night, during sleep, I sensed something supernatural: I "saw" luminous lights flickering like stilled fireflies settling on the leaves of the tree above me. The scene of wonder brought me to total wakefulness and I took a picture -- the one I'm using in this post. The photo captured is no longer as magical as I "saw" in that state of my deep sleep.

I ended my homelessness and had done days of prayer and fasting to drive away the spirits dwelling in the tree and its vicinity. I wanted to sleep there again to know if the spirits had already fled. I had no time to spend a night there but I happened to pass by the area at night. The area has been fully lighted and adorned with plants and lanterns. The feeling was no longer sharp, edgy and goosebumpy. I take that as a sign the spirits have already left for good.

Dogs can sense spirits. I am just as gifted as the dog is.

Self-control: Addressing personal toxicities

Photo by Damon On Road

All of us have had some levels of toxicities lurking in and manifesting from our personalities. Some, for example, may be irrationally jealous, envious, temperamental or revengeful; others, habitual liars, gossipers, control freaks, exploiters, seducers, deceivers, et cetera. We have inherited bad mannerisms, worse attitudes and worst habits and traits from our forefathers due to unconfessed ancestral sins. We are in bondage to the effects of the unconfessed sins of our ancestors. Prayers and sacrifices can break off ancestral bondage and curses passed on down to us and mostly the result takes time to manifest so while waiting for prayers and sacrifices to take effect, we need to tame these demons within us. Moreso, when we are practicing Catholics -- Christians, for that matter -- we should put our toxicities on hold. "Self control" being one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is written in the map and almanac of Christianity, the Bible; and as such, Christians are expected to strive for its fruition in our lives. We cannot be double-minded persons. A Catholic or a Christian in practice cannot be, at the same time, an agent of Hell! When, however, we fall into sinning, the Holy Spirit will convict us of the state of our souls. Go back right away by making a confession to a Catholic priest if we are Catholics or confess your sins direct to God if you are a non-Catholic Christian. If, however, this "sinning and confessing, confessing and sinning" cycle becomes a habit, our spiritual life has not at all leveled up. We are practicing Catholics, practicing Christians still -- but toxic practicing Catholics and Christians! We cannot graduate to the next level in the ladder of spiritual progress if and when we allow ourselves to remain imprisoned in the cycle of spiritual redundancy and stagnation. Stop the cycle and get out of the path laid down by our ancestors via unconfessed sins, self-justification and complacency. Let's do our best to level up by humbling ourselves as to indulge in self-examination, self-acceptance and confession and God will bless our efforts towards becoming the original version of ourselves: the image and likeness of God.

Life is waiting

Waiting for a seed to grow

Waiting for a bud to blossom

Waiting for a tree to bear fruit

Waiting is life, life is waiting

Waiting for a sunrise during the night

Waiting for a rainbow during the flood

Waiting for a downpour during the drought

Waiting is life, life is waiting

Waiting for a miracle behind faith

Waiting for an answer behind prayer

Waiting for a reward behind obedience

Waiting is life, life is waiting

Waiting makes a man or breaks him when he quits

Waiting is life, no one can escape

Only a man succeeds when he views waiting at a better end

"But, will God find faith on earth?"

Life is waiting

Awaiting daybreak (Photo by fjacinto)

Minggoy: From harsh to gentle transformation

Minggoy (Photo by fjacinto)

My nephew owned a black tomcat that he named "Minggoy" [pronounced Ming-goi], the most unfriendly black cat I ever met.

I often had scratches, cuts and wounds from being willfully attacked by its fangs and wolverine paws but I could hardly resist the temptation to caress the pet.

But something happened so that it changed behavior 360-degrees and I was treated like a bro.

Once I was home, it sprang up to run towards me and caress its head on my ankle.

One time, two of its front paws even stepped on a platform to be able to bump its head gently on my forehead as I bowed to untie my shoelaces.

The feline harsh-to-gentle transformation came after I saved it from strangulation.

It had a collar strapped on its neck that was entangled on to a window grill so that Minggoy was dangling, meowing and struggling for life.

Nobody in the family tried to help it out, lest it bit them.

Out of compassion but amid fear of being bitten, I rushed to rescue it by cutting the collar off.

Minggoy was so grateful after that; and I cannot fathom the thought that a savage cat was capable of returning goodness to whoever did it good.

Note: This was written years ago and Minggoy that died in its old age is one of the few memorable cats that I had ever encountered. -Author

Taking everything as a sign from God

Cat sisters, Greco and Gege. (Photo by FJ)

As I take shelter in the residence of a sibling who has a family of her own, I take everything that happens inside the house as a sign from God. When they hide the remote control so I'd be unable to operate the Smart-TV, I take it as a Divine will for me not to spend time watching YouTube and Netflix so I can have time for prayer, writing and siesta. The other day, I was able to pray, update a blog and have an afternoon nap because the remote control was nowhere to be found. "Losing" the remote control was a usual phenomenon before and I came to realize sis' partner had the penchant of hiding it but now it appears my sibling has joined in the hiding game. I'll do the best I can to not to touch and operate the device from now on, lest the Smart-TV, who knows, might break down in the coming days and God is just trying to get me out from the trouble of being blamed for the malfunction. I need divine strength to keep my promise as admittedly I'm a couch potato after all the chores are done. There were also times when they went out to eat in restaurants and not brought me anything so I took it as God never wanted me to eat those foods. So I was fine being uninvited and no food being brought home because of the realization it was not the will of God for me to eat those foods. One time, I understood my sibling and family for not inviting me to lunch out owing to that stream of, shall I say, divine thought or realization. What happened instead, they changed mind and told me to go with them so God wanted me to have those foods instead. I went with them. Those are now my attitude towards everything to keep me from pampering resentments in my heart. What about my family who devised the plan of ignoring me in their lives? Naturally, if we are aware of our actions against someone, surely there would be bad repercussions to our misdeeds. When menace takes place to my family, I would be affected still, being an immediate family. I hope and pray, my family would be responsible for their actions, especially towards their own kin so that nothing negative would boomerang and affect their lives. Anyhow, as trying to be a well-meaning Christian, I should never reciprocate the ill-mannered actions done towards me with retaliation but with love and extra understanding, particularly to a sibling who was attempted beforehand of being aborted when she was still a fetus inside mother's womb. I read a psychology stuff, saying that those who were planned or attempted of being aborted but had a strong hold on life will grow up to be a problem child or individual. True enough as she displays toxic qualities and bad habits past and present! That's why, I keep understanding this particular sibling of mine because of her past that was none of her doing and she doesn't know about. I am 15 years older than her and our parents already talked about the abortion attempt even she was still too young to understand the conversation. Time might come when I would not be able to take her attitudes anymore. Probably, I'd take it as God's way of telling me it's time to go homeless again.

The Eagle Eye: Captioned photographs

A plant breaks through concrete! Why so when a plant is soft and concrete is hard? Ah, one thing we, humans, take for granted — a plant is a Divine creation. So is the rest of its clan, Nature! Thus, man cannot outdo the Divine: either human works must blend with Nature or humans must leave it untouched. (Photo by FJ)

Out of place? Two buildings are closing in on a tree. Is progress shooing away nature from the city? (Photo by FJ)

Rise above mediocrity. See things from a higher point of view or from within you. Be different yet simple -- as a green, wide-winged butterfly in the photograph that rises above past self, the forever-crawling-caterpillar notion of life. (Photo by FJ)

The rainbow-winged

Photo by FJ

"What you are is God's gift to you..."

Before one enters a portal new to him, he finds himself at a loss, afraid, and apprehensive as to what is in store for him beyond that door. 

One thing is certain, however. By the time he decides to tread the path leading to that portal, what he has just made is the greatest decision he ever thought of -- the acceptance of self... the first step in achieving great goals.

Sure enough, if he did not take that first step, accepting himself as he really is, he would be an ugly green caterpillar, crawling on the branches of endless uncertainties.

But the caterpillar soon learns the golden message that the stepping stone to achieve great things lies in the threshold of accepting its real self.

That threshold alone spells nothing but courage.

And that same courage is put to real test -- the caterpillar has to lock itself behind the bars of cocoon for a long time... a dark, warm, painful, lonely battle to reach the unreachable.

We, humans, share the same experience... the same struggle. Now, they are brave people in our midst who accept themselves as they are.

And are determined enough to move on from there.

For a long while, the cocooned caterpillar has to end what it has started. And taste the ripe fruits of its toils.

Yes, if there is a beginning, there is an end. But for those who understand its real meaning, the struggle has not died yet.

It only opens a new chapter in life.

As it came out slowly from the cocoon's door, the different creature was greeted with the stillness of the darkness -- the same darkness when it entered that same world.

But the caterpillar -- now, a rainbow-winged butterfly! -- knows, for sure, that the night is different from the night it was once before.

A new horizon is taking shape in the distance.

One wondered, before, what lies beyond that horizon. But the butterfly is certain that ahead of those far-fetched mountains is a new day that is about to unfold before the eyes of the world.

There is a new hope, new life that promises a new beginning.

Now, the butterfly has to flap its wings and see and do new role, new responsibilities that await him.

For us, humans, whose struggle in life is patterned after the cocooned caterpillar's, what we have achieved of late is only a beginning of another higher level of achievement.

Ours is a lifetime quest.

As the sunflowers await the butterflies, the world awaits these promising men and women.

This is where the truth from the saying comes back to heart.

"...what you become is your gift to God!"

Note: I wrote the first half of this piece as prologue and the second half as epilogue for our batch '90 yearbook back in college. -Author

The Talisay tree of the Crucified Christ

Photo by fjacinto

"Talisay" (tuh-lee-sigh) is a tree common in the Philippines but the one in the photo is unique in that it is doubly-trunked and the upper part of the right trunk looks like a Crucified Christ. Amazing too because it grows and stands inside the compound of a particular Catholic church in southern Philippines. I first noticed the Crucified Christ resemblance when I was inside the church one afternoon and saw it from the viewpoint of the grille window of the church. Personally, I feel like the image is telling us the beauty and the value of suffering. Suffering is part and parcel of our day-to-day living whether we like it or not. The rich and the poor suffer. The beautiful and the not-so-beautiful. The learned and the unlearned. The fit and the fat. The abled and the disabled. The self-righteous and the righteous. All! We suffer simply because we fail to see and accept suffering as something beautiful and valuable to our growth as a human being. We can learn a lot from the caterpillar that has to wrap itself inside the cocoon, it endures and accepts much sufferings of loneliness, darkness and spiritual desert to achieve a higher level of existence. By its sufferings are birthed in its soul new gifts -- the gift of wings, the gift of colors, and the gift of flight! So it is in the life of a human being.

Photo by Justin Lauria

The white bridge and the new white city

Photo by Public Domain Pictures

I found myself, all of a sudden, surrounded by waters in mid-ocean so inky-dark, terrifying, and ominous that I could feel the depth beneath my feet roaring and satiating to gobble me up.

I was floating on a sea surface of the deepest trench of danger and death.

The land was nowhere in sight, not even an isle.

At the instant, a lone, dilapidated wooden launch appeared.

I climbed in to it and another launch appeared tied to the front of the first launch.

Another launch did appear, this time tied to the second launch and another launch to the third and another that they looked like a train on the sea.

I transferred from one launch to another to evade the Ire of the Ocean.

I had no way of knowing how many launches I passed through. 

It was like the Divine assisted me in fleeing from the enormous fury and the devilish wrath of the waters.

Gripped by passing through one launch to another, I realized I was nearing a mainland, about to enter the Gulf.

The towering arch of the white bridge connecting from one end to the other end of the Gulf was none of its kind ever built in the world.

The Divine Architect and Engineer must have designed and constructed the ivory arch-bridge of human impossibility. 

Caught up in a blink of an eye, I found myself on the roadside of the white bridge where the soil of the mainland was a few inches within reach.

The scenes in the dream were flashing swift, rapid, and hurried.

Once on the bridge, serenity, stillness, and safety permeated in the air.

On the bridge, a few strides away from the soil, I saw a table already prepared and the top covered with white linen.

A motherly figure, oh 'twas my mother, that sat opposite mine in the table was smiling at me.

Was the figure a soul since mother has been years away deceased? But why was the figure about to sip bubbling white wine from the crystal goblet with me?

And, behind mother, a hundred meters or less away from the bridge, I had a part view of a conglomeration of white buildings already divinely constructed and placed on the Earth soil -- the New White City.

Photo by Getty Images